She sat with her warm back against the wall, feeling on a deeper level the chill coming into the room. The sun had long fallen behind the clouds but she had not reflected on it as she normally would. Today her mind didn't fully register the fact that anything was happening, her thoughts were miles away recalling him and the flowery speech he'd last spoken to her. The very words lingered after he walked out, on her and on their relationship.
After knowing him for nearly three years and making her fall in love with his quirky voice and handsome face, he finally declared that he couldn't love her as she did him. That she would be better off without him since she was the more mature of the two. He was sorry, he said and that it was better this way.
The words had fallen like blows; Emmé was bewildered to remain standing after hearing it. Then amazingly he had smiled at her, given her a quick hug and left. Taking two steps she collapsed against the window seat and had not moved a muscle since then.
He never saw the way her nails had clawed into her smooth palms to avoid aiming them towards his hazel eyes. He would not know how she was counting each breathe to know that she was alive after getting her heart pulled from her chest.
She would personally crawl into hell and dance naked before the devil himself before letting her ex-lover see a single tear she so wanted to shed.
Evening had drifted in gently while her mind whisked a million deeply disturbing thoughts: she imagined crawling into his bedroom like some wraith shadow and sinking a knife into the black pulsating stain where his heart should beat. She wondered running him over with her brand new car, the one she'd brought in his favorite color. Could almost hear the sounds of his brittle bones crackling beneath the hubcapped Michelin tires.
Revenge was said to be sweet.
It was a taste she soon dared to have on her palette.
And only then did the shades of a smile begin to form on her lips.
...several days later...
The stretch of pavement and road ahead of her seemed suddenly shorter the longer she stared at the scene across the way. Even with the huge droplets of rain slipping down her face, hair and body the night chill didn't feel as cold as her insides.
She had waited within the eerily dark alleyway even when the rain had come. The heavyset raindrops had only helped echo the pain that pounded with each heartbeat; making the thud, thud, thud seem more like a pounding hammer.
Her head ached also as she looked at the man and woman playfully trying to shy away from the rain underneath an umbrella that was barely made for one person. Emmé had made plans to come over to his apartment, to let him know that the personal items he'd left at her house were in a box on her doorstep.
Unknowingly she had left them there and they were probably as soaked as she currently was. Not even that mental image brought a smile to her face as she continued to drink in the pair across the way. She saw the ways her ex teased the new woman in his life. From the way his hands curved around the other waist Emmé knew that this was more than just a casual affair.
Had he been seeing this other female while she had been involved with him? Had the kisses she'd covered him with been atop others from this new woman? The couple paused on his doorstep where he brought their faces close and kissed that stranger in a knowing way. Yes, these two were more than a simple date. Then he opened the door, allowed the woman within and walked in behind her.
Emmé's stomach curled and she had to lock her knees to force herself not to crumble. Had she been a fool to love someone who had probably been playing with others when she had believed herself to be the only one?
A thin drop of rainwater dripped into the corner of her left eye; pooled and then ran free down her cheek. Emmé couldn't be completely convinced that it hadn't been Mother Nature helping her to cry since she hadn't been able to on her own.
As she stood there, feeling the pangs of disgust pulsate within her breast while the rain slowed until nothing remained but the dark skies and soaked pavement, buildings and woman.
Emmé’s hands came up, pulled the mess of hair off her forehead, and smoothed the strands behind her ears. Dark thoughts of revenge began to rage within her ~ she wanted to tear this piece of earth off the face of the world and flush it away.
And then it happened.
A feeling of release cracked through her pain and to Emmé it felt as if her heart began again.
One tiny pulse.
Of life. Of renewal.
After a moment, the rainwater felt lighter and before Emmé's surprised eyes she saw the moon breaking free of the dark clouds. Its shimmering face seemed to call her name. This is a sign. Let him go and continue.
Emmé looked towards the building once more and her stubborn chin tilted up. To hell with him. The rain was nothing more than a small drizzle now and though she was soaked through and through, she now felt as if she'd been baptized in nature's tears; now cleansed. The moonlight seemed to follow her as she turned the corner of the building and walked off into the night.